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Debate ethics

I have discussions with religious people on a regular basis, and I've noticed how whenever I claim that institutionalized religion is built on lies, harms society like a parasite and hinders its progress, many times they end up saying "But they also do some good things!" The thing is, every single time I hear those words, they remind me of another situation in which I've heard them: women abused by their husbands, not admitting they're in trouble. However, I'm afraid to point it out 'cause it might be too harsh.

Any opinions on the subject? I'd really appreciate them, right now I don't know if I should use this argument or keep giving it a twist to "you don't redeem all your behaviour with isolated actions" like I usually do.

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