I agree with most of your points like how these extreme views can potentially turn people off in a good way. However , "...pretty much everyone knows of someone (if not even themselves) who is gay" is not necessarily true.
It's highly probable that in a small town like Seneca, KS (pop. 1,986) that people don't know a LGBT personally or has had very few experiences with LGBT people.
That said, it is statistically likely there is at least a LGBT person in that community if 8.2% of the US has engaged in same-sex behavior and 4% of the nation is openly LGBT (Williams Institute, UCLA; 2011). That 4% openly LGBT is big, considering 4.8% of the nation is Asian (Census).
One could also assume that the pastor's point of view is a prevailing one in that small community, because they allowed him to get in that leadership position. I feel bad for those potentially gay people there, who are probably either closeted or don't even know they are gay yet (I know a couple). And think about all the others like them in all the small towns. They can't live in freedom in this hateful environment.
I think you are right on target that the pastor is probably gay himself along with the extreme homophobe-turned-gay examples in the past like Ted Haggard, Larry Craig, George Rekers, etc.; and also looking at the social psych research that the most extreme homophobic men tend to also show the most homosexual arousal out of those that also identify themselves as heterosexual men (Adams, Lohr, Wright; 1996).
People put so much stock on these types of leaders, especially those that promote unnecessary us-versus-them BS. I'm reminded of the willfully ignorant in the documentary, "What's the Matter With Kansas", where they follow evangelical Christians, show how they get screwed by their leaders, and still desperately cling to their faith. It's a damn shame that people can hold themselves and those around them hostage like this.